Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
TRANSIT BEER....COME ON DOWN..
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Obama Leading McCain In Football, Billiards Polls
WASHINGTON (CAP) - With a little over a month to go before the general election, most national polls now give Democrat Barak Obama a slight edge over Republican counterpart John McCain. More troubling for McCain, however, are a series of popularity and likeability (PAL) polls, which show Barak Obama gaining ground on the all-important have-a-beer-with front.
"You had Obama barely edging McCain in the Who Would You Rather Watch a Football Game With poll, the Who Would You Rather Shoot Pool With poll, and the increasingly important Who Would You Rather Watch Dancing With The Stars With poll," said independent political analyst Hugh Smithers.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Fed Buys Up Baltic Ave, Marvin Gardens & Boardwalk
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The upheaval of the U.S. financial markets continued today as the Fed announced that the Federal Reserve Board will purchase ailing properties Baltic Ave, Marvin Gardens and Boardwalk for an unprecedented $3,650. This gives the federal government a controlling stake in strategic positions around the board.
"We are working closely with the other players to enhance the stability and orderliness of these key properties and minimize the disruption to the Monopoly economy," said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. "With the government's help, everyone will pass Go and will collect $200."
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
ELVIS RIDES THE BUS
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Al Qaeda Releases Fall/Winter Schedule
KABUL (CAP) - The upcoming season of attacks and threats by the world's largest terrorist organization promises to pack more wallop and suspense than previous years, according to officials for al Qaeda's scheduling division. The new season kicks off with a busy marketplace bombing next Thursday evening.
"I've seen the schedule, and that premiere is nothing compared to what they have planned for later in the season," said CAP News Entertainment Editor Greta Von Cistern. "But when you're up against the likes of Grey's Anatomy and CSI, you have little choice but to come out with both guns blazing."
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Dems Get Early Start On Blame For Obama Loss
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The Democratic Party has gotten an early jump on determining who to blame for losing the upcoming presidential election, according to several top Democratic analysts.
"Typically the Democrats don't start assigning blame until several weeks before they lose the election - a month, tops," said Bob Monks, a senior analyst at New School Communications. "The fact that they're starting this early is reflective of the party's new sense of determination, albeit a losing sense."